Phase 1. Achieving Physical Health

The hardest part of life is being born. It's when you are most susceptible to disease and the environment.

According to one study, "Every year, nearly 3 million babies die within the first month of life, most from preventable causes. More than a third of these babies die on their first day of life – making the birth day the riskiest day for newborns and mothers almost everywhere. "

If you are reading this as an adult you have already won the genetic lottery. 

Phase 2. Acquiring Resources

This is not just about making money. But in the modern world you primarily will use some form of paper money to exchange resources with people.

You must be able to accumulate enough resources for yourself and your family or you are on a quick path to a short, unhappy life. 

You don't need billions, but you have to at least get to some level of financial independence.

As the Nobel prize winning author Daniel Kahneman says, you need to make at least $75,000 per year in order to achieve the happiness 'tipping point'.

I think that figure is just the starting point in moving from scarcity to independence. You should strive to go beyond that level into real prosperity and even beyond into global impact.

3. Mastering The Social Game

Social is the hardest. Today's book of the day is "Social" by the Harvard professor, Matthew Lieberman.


He says the default state of the human brain is social. When we are not adding up our taxes or playing chess we revert to thoughts of our social standing:
 

But social - oh brother - social is hard.

Dealing with the complex human brain in other people is complicated. Most people have what I call "TBPS" or "Too Big Of Personality Syndrome."

They want things they don't deserve and they are willing to make your life hell in order to get it. Humans interests are intrinsically in conflict. What is a win for you is not a win for them.

It's a Pareto inefficiency -- everyone pursuing their own best interest makes for a chaotic social fabric. If you don't believe me just look up the statistics on divorce, depression, and domestic violence.

Most of our problems are social in nature. But the good news is that most of the good life is also social. The week of mother's day always reminds me that this social life is divided into three parts.

Family, friends, romance - I call it the "social trio."

My mom used to say that you can tell someone's true character by how they get along with their family. That might be true.

Although, I was reading some girl's Facebook post the other day and she said, "My mom has hated me for 10 years and I hate her back. Happy mother's day."

That reminded me that many people in the modern world have horrible parents.

My great-grandfather moved from Germany after World War II and became a psychoanalyst. He used to tell my grandmother that after years in practice he had found that, "Often times the worst thing for children is their parents."

I was lucky. Even though my dad was not the greatest and was in prison when I was born, my mother and grandparents took up the slack and gave me a loving environment.

My grandma imparted to me a love for books. I remember her always publishing a new book (she is 96 years old and here she is with her new book on the history of paper!)...



My mom gave me a love for new ideas. She is an Aquarius and was always ahead of the knowledge curve. Back in the 1970s she was already talking organic food and home schooling - 20 years ahead of her time.

I don't know what kind of parents you had. Family can be complicated. But you must perfect your social life. Start with family.

 

Blood Is Thicker - Sometimes...

The catch-22 is that in order to improve their social life some people will have to break ties from certain members of the family. The bonds of family are strong but in certain cases they are not strong enough to overcome abuse or negative attitudes.

Blood is thicker than water. So give your family a longer chance than an acquaintance.

But read the obvious signs. Sometimes there comes a time to move on. Like the wise teacher said, "If you love mother and father more than me, you are not worthy of me."

I'm not very religious so the way I interpret that saying is that you must love the truth over everything. This might mean you have to making drastic changes in who you associate with.

Now some of you will have to do the opposite, you will have to strengthen your family ties. 

If you are one of the lucky ones that has a good family then doubling down on your family can be one of the wisest choices you make.

 

Dunbar's Number...

Friends are the next step. According to the famous anthropologist Robin Dunbar there is an ideal amount of friends you should have. 

The number is called "Dunbar's number"  and is defined as a "cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships." The relevant point is that in a world where we have 5000 friends on Facebook and thousands of twitter followers it's easy to get distracted and forget that you must double down your focus, energy, and time on a handful of friends.

Social is important enough that I recorded a special YouTube video to explain some more concepts I think will be helpful for you. This will show you how to double down on the right people.

Stay Strong,

Tai

Quote Of The Day: "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." --Oprah Winfrey

>>Click Here For The Audio Version With Show Notes and Download Link

>>Click Here To Listen On YouTube

>>Click Here To Listen to My iTunes Podcast Show


Question: What can you do to improve your real social network? (Leave your answer in the comments below)